This year, I’ll be live-tweeting the Golden Globe Awards, and sharing my observations and obsessions: Will Brad nuzzle Angelina’s ear at the table?! Who will forget to thank their spouse at the podium? Will Tina and Amy absolutely kill it as hosts for the second year running? (#spoileralert – my sources say yes.)
Now that college football is over, and “our” team (by “our” I mean his) is out of Super Bowl contention, I seem to have regained control of the television again. And just in time for Hollywood award show season! It’s no secret that I’m extremely well-versed in the art of celebrity gossip and smut, so award show season is my own personal version of spectator sports. And just like actual sports, there’s a hierarchy and validity to certain award shows and contests.
For example, in sports you’ve got the big ones, the money makers: the Super Bowl, the World Series, the World Cup, the Stanley Cup, the Olympics. In Hollywood, you’ve got the Oscars. Boom. Next, you’ve got things like the NCAA National Championship, the Masters, March Madness, the NBA Championship. Hollywood’s equivalent would be the Golden Globes. Then come events like the US Open, Wimbolden, Tour de France, Nascar (maybe??). By Hollywood’s standards, that would be the Emmy’s, the Tony’s, the Grammy’s. And then we can’t forget about the Screen Actors Guild, the People’s Choice, the BAFTAs, all of the 200 Country Music Awards shows, whatever those kids at MTV are up to these days, and more!
I feel like these people award themselves a lot of statues.
But anyway. I was going to write out a list of predictions for you, and see how many I got right. But I read over the list of nominees, and learned that I haven’t EVEN SEEN THE MOVIES. Like, none of them. So this time, it’s a warm-up. My goal over the next few weeks is to see more of the nominated movies, so come Oscar time, I’ll be ready. In the meantime, I’ll be judging what the celebs are wearing, ogling the jewelry, and drinking all of the wine. And rooting for Kerry Washington and Scandal! (#gladiatorsinsuits!)