Well, it’s happened. It’s the week before Halloween, and the requests are rolling in…
Well-meaning, kind-hearted relatives: “What should I get the girls for Christmas?”
ME: “Is it rude if I say rent money?”
WMKHRs: “Hahaha. No, seriously, what do they want?”
ME: “Is it rude if I say no clothes, no toys, no books?”
So basically, I’m rude. I’m a Grinch. And it’s not even Halloween yet!!!
But I have my Grinchy reasons. I have MANY Grinchy reasons.
First, my kids want for absolutely nothing. I feel like I’m pretty low on the overall “Americans are over-consumers” scale. And still, our play room is freaking ridiculous. Second, I hate cleaning up toys. I hate telling my kids to clean up toys. I hate helping them clean up toys. I hate that toys exist to be cleaned up. Third, must everything be pink? or make noise? or require a thousand little pieces?
So I don’t have any ideas whatsoever for Christmas. But while I was assessing my Grinchy toy-hate, I discovered several toys that will be disappearing from my home forever. These toys are so annoying, that I don’t even think I can consign them, for the love and sanity of my fellow unsuspecting mothers. Behold:
Fisher-Price Dora the Explorer Tunes Microphone
So loud, so unintelligible. VAMANOS!
Melissa & Doug Farm Sound Puzzle
So the sound factor. It’s not really reserved for puzzle-play-time. Sit down on the couch? MOO! Turn off the light? MOOOOO! Get a bowl of ice cream? MOOOOooooooo! Fan.Tas.Tic.
RoseArt 24 Count Childrens Non-Toxic Crayons
Any crayons that are not Crayola brand. THEY KNOW. My girls are 3 and 4 and they already know which crayons are crap. I swear I didn’t tell them, they JUST KNOW.
Memory Game: Sesame Street
All of the memory cards for the five memory games we own are in a zip-loc bag. Together. Memory is now virtually impossible in our home.
When I’ve had enough, I usually end up digging through the piles with a big black garbage bag. If it’s not broken or gross, I drop it off at daycare. Otherwise, I trash it. Not the most environmentally responsible method, which is bad, but I just don’t have the patience to sort it or fix it.
So what are your methods for purging the toy room? What’s your kid begging for this (very very early) holiday season? Am I really a Grinch?
Image Credit: Reusable Art