I recently came across a blog post called “How to Get Along with An Introvert” and my first thought was NOT “Gee, maybe I’m an introvert.” I have always assumed that I’m an extrovert because I am friendly, sometimes loud, and sometimes outspoken. And I am usually not drawn to introverted people immediately because they are more difficult to get to know. But some introverts are my closest friends so I thought the article would be an interesting read and hopefully teach me what I could do to improve my people skills. The blog post linked to this article: 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert. And, of course, I had to bite. I thought I’d get insight into the secretive mind of an introvert like the quiet shelves of a library. So I start to read and, as I do, it starts to seem too familiar.
- #1: You find small talk cumbersome. Cumbersome??? Are you kidding? I find it unbearable, awkward, stilted and completely unnatural. I either talk about the weather or tell an inappropriately personal story about myself.
- #5: You’ve been called “too intense.” We might be just internet friends and you already know — I’m too intense. I workout too much. I drink too heavily. I eat more pizza than I should. I write bulleted lists. I’m. Too. Intense.
This list goes on for quite a while and I related intimately to 17 of the 23 items on the list. For a self-proclaimed extrovert, that leaves plenty of room for reexamination. Mary, you can’t be calling yourself shy, you say to me, even if you just know me from Merritt and Mary. Shyness does not define my personality but I have serious social reservation in person and doubts even here. I’m an open book kind of person, in that I can be very honest with people, but sometimes putting myself out there is exhausting. And sometimes it can be crippling.
Then I took an online quiz (see #5 again and again) and found that I’m something called an ambivert which means I am a mixed, a tortured mix, of introvert and extrovert.
How about you or are you too much of an introvert to share?